Jokes , JOKES , jokeS

A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, "You should've been here at 8:30!"

The guy replies, "Why? What happened at 8:30?"



A young man called directory assistance. "Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number for Mary Jones in Seremban .""There are multiple listings for Mary Jones in Seremban ," the operator replied. "Do you have a street name?"The young man hesitated, and then said, "Well, most people call me Ice Man."



Ahmad and Nathan are hunting when Nathan falls down from the top of a big rock. Frantic, Ahmad dials 911 on his cell phone and blurts, "My friend just dropped dead! What should I do?" A soothing voice at the other end says, "Don't worry, I can help. First, let's make sure he's really dead." After a brief silence, the operator hears a shot. Then Ahmad comes back to the phone. "Okay," he says nervously to the operator. "What do I do next?"



A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for the food."The panda yells back, "Hey, man, I'm a panda. Look it up!"The bartender opens his dictionary to panda: "A tree-climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."



How do you keep a jackass in suspense? I'll let you know tomorrow!



Ali couldn't believe it -- he'd made it to the last round of his favorite game show. "Congratulations, Ali," said the emcee. "Answer correctly and you go home with five million dollars! "This is a two-part question on Malaysian history," he continued. "The second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like first? Remember , you wont be able to turn back once you've chosen which part you want to answer first thinck carefully." Ali figured he'd play it safe. "I think I'll try the second part of the question first." The emcee nodded approvingly, while the audience was silent with anticipation. "Okay, Ali, here is your question: And in what year did it happen?"