aa

TheBookOfJoy.Blogspot.com is BACK !!!! : ) =) ;D =D xD XD

We're moving back to our origins @ thebookofjoy.blogspot.com

We probably won't be updating this blog anymore.

Like old times

Today before assembly started, our dear partner in crime Woo Xiam Lame asked me ;

XL: "How do you climb a tree?"

Me and Loke: (stunned by the sudden question and knew what was coming) erm... climb on the branch?

XL: No got easier way to climb.

Me and Loke: ???

XL: Cut down the tree and climb horizontally.

Me and Loke: -__- -_-

Wei Kwang vs Tanzy : Part 1 Wei Kwang's 10 Ways To Die

One day, Wei Kwang and Tanzy were fighting as usual.

That day, they got bored of fist fights and decided to illustrate how the other will die.

This is Wei Kwang's little note to Tanzy :

Click here for the complete and enlarged version

Shaun : Idiot

It was raining cats and dogs. We were in the chemistry lab.



Shaun : "Wa . . . Just now I saw a Pure Idiot."


Us : ???


Shaun :"The rain just stopped he go and water the plants. What the heck la they trying to drown the plants."

I know what u're doing

Siti caught his husband, Ali searching high and low around his living room.


so.........

Siti asked: What are you searching for ?

Ali: Hidden-cameras.

Siti: Why on earth do you think there are hidden cameras in our house ??

Ali: This guy on television, he knows exactly what I'm doing.

Siti: How is that so???



Ali: Every few minutes he keeps saying,

YOU ARE NOW WATCHING STAR WORLD!!!!



aha, I know what u're doing too.

YOU'RE READING DERBOOKOFJOY !!! =)

Random Joke's

Why don't anteaters ever get sick ?















Because they are full of anty-bodies





What did Jim say to Tom before getting in the car ?














"Tom , get in the car "

From the Lamest DJ on Radio

Heard this on the radio just now , Hitz.fm of course :D , and this is from Natalie , the lamest DJ ever , here's what she said...




" Coming up next , what do you do when you click 5 times ? ( uses tougue to click 5 times) "









" THE CLICK 5 ! "

Tanzy : Being himself : )

The teacher was teaching Add Maths, Chapter 6 : Trigonometry


Johnny : Teacher, I don't understand why must be " -23 < [tita] <>


Tanzy : Your mother never teach you ah?

Do Your Banking Before It's Too Late, says Shaun

There are 2 versions


Version 1 (ending comes later, at de end of der post)


Shaun : "Eh, it's June right?"

Jie Xian : " . . . Yes ?"

Shaun : "Aiya, the bank close already."

Jie Xian : "???"


Version 2 (ending comes later, at de end of der post)


Shaun : "Wei Kwang, you got any banking to do?"

WK : "What? No . . . "

Shaun : "You should have done your banking last month."

WK : "???"


Here's the ending to both stories :




Shaun points to a bank which can be seen from our class :

Maybank

Shaun : "You see, now June already. You shound have done your banking last month. "

Conversation in der Canteen

Jie Xian

Les, u remember that Wei Han said, "Friendship is the best ship in the world"?

This time, Ian said just now, "Hardship is the hardest ship is the world"



Les and I laughed. Ian overheard us.



Ian

Hah Ha. This joke is so funny I'm sure it's going to be in Der Book Of Joy.


At that time, I told him, "No, no . . . " But I just couldn't resist it.

Because he was too funny XD

Wei Kwang !!!

juz watch

Mr. Bean

Knock Knock

Who's there ?



Mr. Bean



Mr. Bean who ?




Mr. Bean Laden

*BOOOOM !!*

Comic : Surpriseeeeeeee!!!!!

Click me for a surprise ending!

*By clicking me you are verifying that you want to view 18sx material and i'm not responsible for offending you

Rootbeer

Wei Han said this

" Why you so rude ? You drink Rootbeer ? "







Which inspired Jie Xian to say this


" Why do the trees look drunk ? Cause they absorbed rootbeer ! "

Fun With Forming Nouns !

Today . . . . . EST Period ! We were given work on none other than FORMING NOUNS !


So here's some examples from the papers we were given and also common ones :

apply - application
describe - description
wise - wisdom
king - kingdom
neighbour - neighbourhood
joy - joyfulness
curd - curdish








Here are the SPECIAL nouns formed by our very special joyees ( Jie Xian , Lee Meng , Wei Kwang , Wei Han ) !

con - condom
depart - department
health - healthility
robin - robinhood
teeth - tits
rub - rubbish




No worries , it was just jokes/mistakes , they all scored A's for thier English Tests :D




o yes ! I also noticed somebody else spelling FOREHEAD as FALLHEAD

Important Announcement !!!

You Need To Say The Password The Next Time You Read Der Book.

So now I'm telling all of you the password. You have to say it into your mic when the voice recognition software is ready.

This is the password. Practice it. Recite it, until you can do it really really quickly.

I N V J S

AHAHAHA I know you do! XD

Wei Han refused to say it out. When Foo said it out, he said irritatedly : "Why you envy him?"

ps : i'm JS = Jie Xian

The Most Anticipated Vid Of The Year : Shuffler vs Breakdancer : Teachers' Day Performance

Shufflers and breakdancers from Class 5 Kensett displaying their talent on Teachers' Day.

Please make some allowance for me as this is my first time editing a vid. This took about 10-11 hours altogether. ';.;' Seriously. Cause i don't know anything.

When i told Shaun about this, Shaun said : "Good! You're dedicated to Der Book." =.=

Part 2 is waaay beter :D


Part 1




Part 2



Please give me some comments / ratings yes? There are currently none ~.~


Without the commentators, this vid will never be as good.

I, along with many others, were sitting close to the action. :D

Blonde Joke (From thebookofjoy)

three women, a brunette, a redhead and a blonde were about to get executed.

the brunette is send forward to be shot,

the guards shout: Ready ! Aim !

suddenly the brunette shouts "Tornado !!"

the guards hide for cover and the brunette escapes


the guards got angry
they send the redhead forward

the guards shout: Ready ! Aim !

suddenly the redhead shouts: "Earthquake !!"

again the guards dived for protection
the redhead escapes

the guards got very mad
they send the blonde forward

the blonde, after seeing what happened, figured out how to escape too

the guards shout: Ready ! Aim !



and then.......


the blonde shouts: "Fire!!"

Joke, jokes, more jokes.....

Elephant joke!!!!!!!!!!!

A young man is wandering around the zoo looking at the animals. He suddenly remembers about an appointment that he scheduled. Unfortunately, he forgot his watch. He searches for someone who could give him the time.

He sees a zoo keeper standing next to an elephant. "Excuse me, sir," says the young man "Do you know what time it is?"

The zoo keeper reaches under the elephant, grabs his balls and starts playing with them.

"Mmmmm, it is about 3:00," the zoo keeper responds.

The young man looks at him in awe, "How did you know that?" The zoo keeper looks back at the man, "I looked at the clock on the wall right behind you."

Desperate CIA

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to two men and a woman, but only one position was available.

The day came for the final test to see which peson would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow our instructions whatever the circumstances," they explained. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The man looked horrified and said, "You can't be serious! I could never shoot my wife!" "Well," said the CIA man, "you're definitely not the right man for this job then."

So they brought the second man to the same door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained to the second man. "Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The second man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes; then the door opened. The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes. "I tried to shoot her; I just couldn't pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I'm not the right man for the job."

"No," the CIA man replied, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Now they only had the woman left to test. They led her to the same door to the same room and handed her the same gun. "We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances; this is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him." The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing, one shot after another for 13 shots. Then all hell broke loose in the room. They heard screaming, rashing, and banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes; then all went quiet.

The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat the son of a bitch to death with the chair!"

Shirt Brands - Super Lame

One day , the manager of a department in a big firm had to take a 2 week lift to attend a convention overseas , so he put his asistant manager in charge.

From the first day the asistant manager was in charge , he acted like he owned the firm and even bought a couple of BOSS brand shirts to wear every single day of the week to show that he is now boss.




The manager heard of this from other employees and was not very happy with how his asistant manager was overusing and over-showing his power...


When the manager came back to work , that day on.... he only wore BOSSINI brand shirts to show boss is over here man !

Hsuang : Tanzy's Suggestion

Hsuang.


Despite hearing it numerous times from Shaun and Tanzy when they are teasing Wei Kwang , none of us knew what "Hsuang" meant, until Wei Han told me while he was praising her photoshop skills.

I agree with him. I've never touched Photoshop before.

So this is what Hsuang means, according to Wei Han.


Hsu Li + Wei Kwang = Hsuang



After telling them what it meant, something hit me. We all know that


Brad Pitt + Angelina Jolie = Brangelina



Notice how the guy's name is followed by the girl's.


So I told Wei Kwang :


Jie Xian : "Wei Kwang, shouldn't your name be in front, based on Brangelina?"

Tanzy answered after 5 seconds : "We should call him Kwali!"

Wei Kwang + Hsu Li = Kwali (kuali = frying pan/wok)

Random jokes

Beautiful Wife :

A man and his wife were walking on a busy street.

Coming to a corner a begger shouted out to the lady:

"Oh beautiful!! I am blind, please give me some money"

Then her husband told her:


"Give him what he asked for,
if he thinks that you are beautiful, then there is no doubt that he is blind!!"



Football !!:

A football fanatic went to the doctor for consultation....

Football fanatic: Doctor, I have this problem. Every night I dream of monkeys playing football.

Doctor: No problem, from today, take this pill every night and you'll nvr dream.

Football fanatic: Can I start taking it tmr ??

Doctor: Yes, but why ????

Football fanatic:



"COZ TONIGHT IS THE FINALS !!"



Smartest:



The Russians dug 1000 ft in the ground and found copper wire;

They declared Russia had electricity 1000 years back.


US dug and found optical fiber and declared US had telephone 2000 years back.



A sardar in India found nothing. Then said:

"Oye!! we had wireless technology 5000 years back."



AH BENG's interview :


Interviewer: How does an engine start ??

Ah Beng: (this is easy) Dhurrrrrr............dhur dhur dhur dhur......

Interviewer: (omg) STOP ! STOP IT!!!

Ah Beng: Dhur......Dhurp Dhurp Dhurp Dhurp

Matt the HIRO NAKAMURA of MBS !

SEE HIM TELEPORT !






YAT TAH !

Tyo Wei Keat Has Factory Potential Too!

I was walking nearby when two people who were shorter than me (shorties), made some comments.


Tyo Wei Keat (and Johnny) :

"Jei Shian, 你的头发很好笑."

"Jei Shian, your hair very funny."



Me :


[Looks at their hair (2 cm long at its longest) and laughs, but decides to enJOY the joke by not answering back]


Tyo Wei Keat (and Johnny) :

其实你很帅的. 但是长到太高了.

Actually you're handsome, but you are too tall.



Me :

[Surprised that this came from them and chose took it as a compliment and laughs together]



Tyo Wei Keat (and Johnny) :

太高不好, 太高不好. [shakes thier head]

你的女朋友需要爬楼梯去kiss你.


Too tall no good, too tall no good. [shakes thier head]

Your girlfriend need to climb up stairs to kiss you.



I used "(and Johnny) " because it looked to me like Wei Keat was doing all the talking and Johnny was just adding on.



Shaun and the rest, but especially Shaun, i know you will have a lot to say about me.

eg : NANSENSE!/ They blind la.

Let me have my moment of Joy la please.

Jokey Jokey

A drunk was hauled into court...." Mister " , the judge began,
" you've been brought here for drinking.. "

"Great " , the drunk exclaimed. " When do we get started ? "




Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same asyour brother's. Did u copy his?

Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!




Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkeyand stopped him, what virtue would I be
Showing?

Student: Brotherly love.




Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!

Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.




Children in backseats cause accidents

Accidents in backseats cause children !

Reality TV - joyees in skool

we had so much fun in skool everyday that we feel ashamed if we aren't able to share our laughters with u'all

so, we decided to film our own reality show that is sure to be the funnier(or stupider) than the existing ones
and too boost our TV ratings.......in the future when we have our own show

so...........

ya it's only a sneak peek, or a teaser, so be sure to tune in to derbookofjoy everyday to watch more of our JOY-ful life

credits to: Lee Meng (for his cam)

Wei Han

Lester

Tun Hong

and the shy Teck Huat..

expect more from the joyees

Ken Lee : The Fenomena

be patient until 1:21!

Too MUCH of DER BOOK !

Notice in a Yamaha Music School

This was above a sink ~_~

But that was just the beginnning.

I noticed . . .


. . . a notice


today.

It says :

AHahaha!

Gimme a budweiser!!!!

I read this somewhere...


A big hulking hooligan walks into a bar, slams his fist down, and yells "Give me a Budweiser, or...!"

Scared, the bartender serves the man his Budweiser. This happens everyday for a week straight, and the bartender turns into a nervous wreck. He asks his wife for advice, and she tells him he should stand up for himself. Easier said than done, he thinks, but he decides to try it. The next day, the hooligan returns.

"Give me a Budweiser, or...!"

"O-o-o-o-r-r-r... w-w-what?" stammers the bartender.

"A small Coke."



Numero.... two.... -_- college joke

Top 10 Ways to scare your roommate, or your brother, whichever you like.

10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, ''He just didn't belong.''

9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.

8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, ''The hair, it's growing. Growing!''

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, ''Soon, soon....''

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, ''I've got an important message for you.'' Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, ''Oh, yeah, I remember!'' Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, ''Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?'' Complain loudly that you are hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, ''Hooray! You're back!'' as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, ''Shouldn't you be going somewhere?''

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, ''No, I want to watch them suffer.'''

Pictures of Italian Scluptures = )

Have you ever seen a naked guy in publie before? I have.

But this is no ordinary flasher. Not only is he inhuman, he even has the guts to pose!

Naked in public and proud of it

Looking at this fella, I really cannot hold it back anymore.

That sei ham lou! That shameless flasher! That dirty minded artist!

I had to use my . . .

Hand of God! ';.;'

(A closer view of the hand)

On The Money! (close enough)

Walaoeh those europeans are really horny!

Voon Ho & Johnny : The process of essembling a toy car and a motor can be funny too!

Johnny was assembling a small motor to a toy car. This is how he did it.

LOL! He had installed it backwards!

Looking at the toy car and laughing, Voon Ho said :

"Aiyo Johnny, simple physics things also you don't know! How can you become a physician?"




To Voon Ho : A physician a doctor, the right one is physicist. =D

when Tanzy was small..........

remember this very clearly........(nostalgic)


when Tanzy was less than 6 y o

he studied in a kindergarten....

thr was a spoiled brat/teacher's pet/rich a**(fatty) that Tanzy wasn't fond of


one day, Tanzy playfully pat him on the back

the fatty had nvr experienced such humiliation b4 and got angry


Fatty: why did u beat me, im gonna tell teacher.

Tanzy: (childishly asked)when i beat u? what time, hour, minutes, seconds I beat u, which eye of urs saw me beating u?

Fatty:(got annoyed, asked teacher that was beside us all the time) Teacher, what time is it ?

Tanzy:(tought he was gonna die, stupid fatty is gonna tell teacher and his fat parents will sue my parents)





but roflmao-ly, the teacher replied:

"Do ur homework la stupid fatty, don't disturb me doing my own work la !!! "

the fatty was so shocked and scared at the same time, he just look down and started doing the homeworks

while Tanzy was laughing like a kid, at him
(you should have seen his fat face)

and then the fatty stared at Tanzy angrily,

which only makes him laughed even louder



ahahaha stupid fatty was so stupid and fat
Tanzy fells so proud and triumphant,

and still is..........

Baby Hiccup Baby Laugh

South Park : Internet Stars

Ahaha great job by der poster to add on the original videos of the internet stars.

Joy at the CC

These stuff happened during our Chinese Class.

A : [says a bad word]

Jasper : 老师, 他讲"臭话"!
Teacher, He said a bad word!

Jian Liang : 老师, 他讲"臭话"!
Teacher, He said "bad word"!


In another occasion,


Chuan Zheng : Teacher, i've chosen you to write my testimonial. I have always trusted you.

Teacher : It's my pleasure.

Chuan Zheng : [Smiles] :)

Teacher : [repeats herself] It's my pressure.



Later on, the teacher was talking to Chuan Zheng again.



Teacher :

庄正为什么你不要去?

Chuan Zheng, why you don't want do go (to that event)? There will be a lot of pretty girls you know?



Chuan Zheng :

老师, 不要骗人.

Teacher, don't lie to me.



Teacher :

"有美女, 但是你不够 standard."

"There will be pretty girls, but you're not up to it."



After seeing the look on Chuan Zheng's face, the teacher decided to apologise.


"对不起."

"Sorry."


The smile on his face returned. But not for long. The teacher haven't finished what she wanted to say yet.


"对不起, 我态坦白了"

"Sorry, I was being too frank/too honest."

If anyone is curious, here's his pic.

*Chuan Zheng, if you're reading this, i did not mean to insult you. I was just telling it as it is, exactly (according to what i remember) as what had happened.



After that, the teacher mentioned about "A Gua"s /Transexuals. When her son asked her what are "A Gua"s, she told us that she took him to some A Gua street to show him.

This is her way of edicating her son.



Then someone said (I think it's Chuan Zheng or Johnny Ho) :


"老师, 带我去看 A Gua"

"Teacher, take me to see the transeuxals."



Jian Liang


"你自己去照镜子啦."

"You go and look in the mirror lah."

The Magic Of Computer Games

This is a true story.

A bunch of Australians and my brother were playing World Of Warcraft together.

Australian A : Wow! It's already 2 o'clock! I'm gonna get myself some lunch, mate!

Australian B : Lunch? OH YA! LUNCH!

Ken Leeeeeeeeeeeeee , Sing !

From Bulgarian Idol , Enjoy , KEN LEE !

Manager :; Marriage

Why did the salesman who got promoted came to work with obviously a better outift but climbed up a tree and sat there ?





Because he got promoted to ' Branch Manager '












Lingam to Raguna : "I want to marry you"

Raguna : "But I am one year elder than you."

Lingam : "No Problem, then I will marry you next year."

Celeb's Interview part 2

Since Tanzy hasn't posted it , I guess I'll post it , yes , this is the same celebrity as the one before but no names will be mentioned again , just SITI

Here's part of her interview's extract

" So Siti , what's your favourite part of your body ? "





" My nipples "












PS : If you think she said it on purpose , she wasnt , she wanted to say dimple but her
pronounciation is rather.....

Music gadget banner found in Guitar Store

Music and MOEning ! Nicole Schwerzinger or whatever her name is should get this to improve her song " Breathe " if you know what i mean...

riddles that make you.... -_-"

What's the difference between a corpse and a music maker



One composes, the other decomposes.




A butcher is 7 feet tall, and wears size 11 shoes. What does he weigh?




He weighs meat.



what goes, black,white, black,white, black,white, black,white?


A penguin rolling down a hill.



There is a Chef, a butcher, a taxi driver, a bus attendant and a police man. who wears the biggest hat?


The one with the biggest Head.

Lee Meng : Back in Action

This was a part of my Msn personal message.

"derbookofjoy.blogspot.com Whatever has happened to the "bioknight"? ahahaa"

Lee Meng's previous email was bioknight91. He has just changed it to a more . . . reasonable one.



This is what he has to say.

Lee Meng :

"erm? i have eyes 2 see ur personal message."

"The bioknight....went for bio class."

Xian :

"lol u inform la monitor. "(He is the monitor for our class, 5K)

Lee Meng :

"You CPU.. .u need to take in my orders."

Xian :

"What CPU?"

Lee Meng :

"I monitor, u CPU!!!!"

The conversation ended there.

But I've just realised that it is the CPU that actually gives orders to the monitor.

Classroom humour

when our EST teacher (Mrs. T-Rex), went to 5A for her class,

she heard a student talking and laughing loudly

"I cant stand it! - it's tooooo SMELLY !!!!"

she got very upset and angry

she scolded

"I stand so far away, you can smell me ah ???!!!!"
>:( >:O }:(



the whole class laugh 99 after that


the student cant smell her indeed, because..........

he wasn't talking about her!! he was talking about other stuff

ahahah, imagine the amount of embarrassment she had


p/s: i call her Mrs. T-Rex because we aren't suppose to talk bad about our teacher and the school, cause our "tech-savvy" principal can track us down. She is also called Mrs. T-Rex for her distinctive style of walking.

Celeb's Interview

I don't know if anyone heard of this before or if its true but supposedly , a few years ago , a Malaysian celebrity was interviewed and the following lines were said during thw interview.

I'm not gonna mention his/her name , just the first name...

So here's SITI's interview extract

" So how can we address you "

















" Oh , my address is .... ( tells it out) "

Wei Han's ' good ' vocab Question on cowture

...Biology period


The teacher answers a student " It is their culture "

And Wei Han goes " Why got culture , no Goature ? "

E! News : Battle of the Hollywood Hotties

My first repost.

All all people, the E! News people has invited comedians to comment on the "Hollywood Hotties". Yes, all of them are comedians. The first one is 50 Cent vs Eminem vs Kanye West.



50 cent

"Fity . fitty. . fitty . . . or is it FiFty? So, he got shot 9 times huh? That's very encouraging to kids."

"Getting shot 9 times is not something you are proud of man, it just means you're easy to shoot."


Eminem

"Yes, Eminem, very smart, very smart, melts in your mouth, not your hands."

"Eminem . . . my favourite kind of candy."

(Lots of M&M candy floating around in the background)


Kanye West

They showed a clip of Kanye holding an award/trophy thingy, saying,

"Let myself introduce myself."

"I'm sure I'm gonna buy myself a new house to put all my prizes." (LANCI!!!!!)



Then they were talking about Demi Moore.

"People look better now, in this age, because of good nutrition and good food."

"But the most importantly, plastic surgery" (Ahaha so damn sarcastic)

Terrorists Bloopers

HALAL-ed :; un-HALAL-ed

TRUE PICS !






Just when I thought nothing else could possibly get HALAL-ed after seeing an ad on halal toothpaste.....





Anyone up for dim sum ? Halal style !




And then , when I thought nothing that we wear could get non-HALAL-ed....





Anyone for shoes made for everyone else except...?

Mrs Yap EST comments

Today in EST class... Our teacher was Mrs Yap...\

Mrs Yap was giving away our EST papers... ( The essay one) and as usual, made sarcastic remarks about our papers..

She said to me,

" aR YOU ar??? Your paper still got so much space!!! You write about the environment and you waste paper?????"

And this went on for a few students... Namely Eng Hoe...

Then it came to Chong ( Afiq for your info)

" Ar this one!!!! This one write the best one, mosquitoes got AIDS????"



And the laughs went booommm.....

MaTT's Jokes...

heyhey hey.... My first post... XD anyways... here goes a collection of jokes i heard from my friend in tuition...

What did the apple say to the orange?



Nothing, apples don't talk.

What's brown and sounds like a bell?


DUUUNGG!!!!


There were 3 couples sitting down for dinner. The first husband said,
"Would you pass me the sugar, Sugar?" His wife giggled and kissed him
and said, "Sure." The second husband thought he should do something
sweet too. He asked his wife, "Would you pass me the honey, Honey?" The
second husband's wife thought that was so sweet. She giggled, kissed
him and said, "Sure." The third husband's wife looked over at him with
a look that said, "You better think of something quick." So, he did.
The third husband looked at his wife and said, "Would you pass the tea,
Bag?"

You are welcome for 'filling' you up... XD I am filled up, aren't you?

A Menu from Restaurant Called "Stacey's"

Pancetta Wrapped Chicken

(You are what you eat, so if the rest of the menu frightens you, eat the chicken.)

Caesar Salad $8.95

(Named after the great romaine emperor, Julius Salad.)

Poke Tuna $13.95

(We only serve poke tuna because the fast ones get away.)

Imported Creamy Goat Cheese & Caramelized Pear Dip $11.95

(We know the goats are imported because they don’t speak English.)

Blackened Salmon Sandwich $14.95

(The salmon get this way from sun bathing.)

Portabella Mushroom Sandwich$13.95

(If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.*)

**Der menu is from here

The jokes in this menu was written by the author of a comic strip called Dilbert -- Scott Adams. He is really good!

Running In Record Time

This is a variation from Shaun in his primary school days. It sounds way funnier when he tells it in Chinese :D


你知道我怎么样用两秒跑两百米吗?



我从起跑线上的后面一点开始跑.



Translation :

You know how I can run 200 metres in 2 seconds?

I start from a few metres behind the starting line.

*Imagine a full 200 metre running track

Chei Thai

today we got most of our exam papers back and as usual, Chei Thai did well

inside the LRT, I met him and asked


me: 你有去补习吗 ?(do u go for tuitions?)

CT: 有，在家里补. (ya, tuition at home)

me: ?? private tutor ??



CT: (shake head) 姑姑教.

me: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! (the whole train like wtf)

CT: (at first confuse, and then give a -_- look)


ahahah wtf


if u do not understand this, it's probably a good thing.



and Chei Thai is a complete goody boy, he wasn't aware that wad he said would sound obscene, it was all me >.< and my *ish ish ish* mind

Jokes , JOKES , jokeS

A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, "You should've been here at 8:30!"

The guy replies, "Why? What happened at 8:30?"



A young man called directory assistance. "Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number for Mary Jones in Seremban .""There are multiple listings for Mary Jones in Seremban ," the operator replied. "Do you have a street name?"The young man hesitated, and then said, "Well, most people call me Ice Man."



Ahmad and Nathan are hunting when Nathan falls down from the top of a big rock. Frantic, Ahmad dials 911 on his cell phone and blurts, "My friend just dropped dead! What should I do?" A soothing voice at the other end says, "Don't worry, I can help. First, let's make sure he's really dead." After a brief silence, the operator hears a shot. Then Ahmad comes back to the phone. "Okay," he says nervously to the operator. "What do I do next?"



A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for the food."The panda yells back, "Hey, man, I'm a panda. Look it up!"The bartender opens his dictionary to panda: "A tree-climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."



How do you keep a jackass in suspense? I'll let you know tomorrow!



Ali couldn't believe it -- he'd made it to the last round of his favorite game show. "Congratulations, Ali," said the emcee. "Answer correctly and you go home with five million dollars! "This is a two-part question on Malaysian history," he continued. "The second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like first? Remember , you wont be able to turn back once you've chosen which part you want to answer first thinck carefully." Ali figured he'd play it safe. "I think I'll try the second part of the question first." The emcee nodded approvingly, while the audience was silent with anticipation. "Okay, Ali, here is your question: And in what year did it happen?"

OsamA NumA ! NumA NumA YeH NumA NumA YeH ! DancE to ThE BeaT !

Maleyahiiii Maleyahiii Maleyahiii Maleyah haha ! Maleyahiii...

Lester meets a Girl

Lester, like every guy in the world, gets attracted to Pretty girls

so, one day

we met at a mamak stall and he proudly announce that he just saw the most "Beautiful" girl on earth

Lester: just now i saw the most beautiful girl in Sunway pyramid

us: then ?

Lester: when our eyes meet, i was like Walao-eh. my heart skipped a beat.

Tun hong (who was with him): LOL, then he go crash into a board.

us: LOLOL, wtf ! wad happened ?

Lester: (trying to justify wad happened) she so d*mn pretty, i can't take my eyes off her when I was walking until i crashed into a signboard.

Tun Hong: LOL, the girl looking at him somemore. Then he look at us and scold us, as if we pushed him into the board like dat

us: LOLOLOL wtf lololol.

lester: she really d*mn nice la. -_-


although Lester swear she's the prettiest girl on earth, at least in Msia, experience taught us not to bliv him when it comes to girls.

An Important Terminology Explained

Ahahaha "BODs" - Board Of Directors, a term taken from the Interact Club which consists of people who direct.

We call ourselves the CEO of the BJ - BookofJoy.

Leo : Height

No, this isn't about his under par height.


We were walknig in Petaling Street and were looking at the high-rising shops in front of us. One of them was the Thomas and Guys' hair saloon.


Leo : Why must they build the buildings so high? They want people to 跳楼/jump/commit suicide is it?

Jie Xian : Ya ya. You go in Thomas and Guys', give them RM15 and say "Let me jump from your roof."

A Lame Joke I Thought Of

How can you travel from Malaysia to Thailand in just under 3 seconds?


Start at 5 cm from the Malaysia-Thailand border la! :D

...And The Book has Reborn

They may lock our Book, but they can never lock der great database in our cerebral cortex which gives joy and indirectly (Of course i meant directly but few will admit it in public), life to others!*

*Improved from a quote from Shaun :D



So The Book has returned / reborned / respawned / resurrected / reincarnated, but most of all, rejoiced in the form of Der* Book Of Joy.

*"der" is a "masculine the" (yes, there is a feminine one and other types too) in German according to an article I've read in The Star a few years ago. They have many types of the article "the" in German.

From Google Translate:

der Mann (the man), der Tabelle (the table)
die Frau (the woman), die Sonne (the sun)
das Baby (the baby), das Papier (the paper)

I've been searching for other similar cases and there's someone whose blog has been unlocked after 1 month.

http://bonanzaworld.blogspot.com/2008/06/im-back.html

So my hopes are still high as we await the unlocking of The Book Of Joy when the Google staff gets to work.


So this is only temporary, like a substitute to The Book Of Joy, as we will move back as soon as The Book is unlocked.


Excuse me while i do some chanting. **aww may thaw fatt, seen Joy seen Joy.**


"May everyone be well and happy."

"May The Book Of Joy be unlocked to make everyone well and happy, especially us !" :D

WE ARE BACK BAYBEH ! BRINGING MORE JOY !

Yes Baybeh's , we are back man , thebookofjoy has been brought down to give rise to a new power ... DERBOOKOFJOY ! :D

So yes , with a newer and better title comes some consequences , and that is , for our loyal readers before , there will be many posts posted that you have already read before on the not so ALMIGHTY version of our blog before.. But fred not , it comes with tonnes more of new ones so just keep reading !

Now , I have to do this , like Gerard Butles in 300a.d.


TONIGHT ! WE DINE ! WITH JOY !....THIS IS B-J(BOOK OF JOY) !




so heres a WELCOME VIDEO ! :D

PUBLIC AFFAIR by TWO CHINESE BOY's