Notice in a Yamaha Music School

This was above a sink ~_~

But that was just the beginnning.

I noticed . . .


. . . a notice


today.

It says :

AHahaha!

Gimme a budweiser!!!!

I read this somewhere...


A big hulking hooligan walks into a bar, slams his fist down, and yells "Give me a Budweiser, or...!"

Scared, the bartender serves the man his Budweiser. This happens everyday for a week straight, and the bartender turns into a nervous wreck. He asks his wife for advice, and she tells him he should stand up for himself. Easier said than done, he thinks, but he decides to try it. The next day, the hooligan returns.

"Give me a Budweiser, or...!"

"O-o-o-o-r-r-r... w-w-what?" stammers the bartender.

"A small Coke."



Numero.... two.... -_- college joke

Top 10 Ways to scare your roommate, or your brother, whichever you like.

10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, ''He just didn't belong.''

9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.

8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, ''The hair, it's growing. Growing!''

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, ''Soon, soon....''

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, ''I've got an important message for you.'' Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, ''Oh, yeah, I remember!'' Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, ''Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?'' Complain loudly that you are hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, ''Hooray! You're back!'' as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, ''Shouldn't you be going somewhere?''

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, ''No, I want to watch them suffer.'''

Pictures of Italian Scluptures = )

Have you ever seen a naked guy in publie before? I have.

But this is no ordinary flasher. Not only is he inhuman, he even has the guts to pose!

Naked in public and proud of it

Looking at this fella, I really cannot hold it back anymore.

That sei ham lou! That shameless flasher! That dirty minded artist!

I had to use my . . .

Hand of God! ';.;'

(A closer view of the hand)

On The Money! (close enough)

Walaoeh those europeans are really horny!

Voon Ho & Johnny : The process of essembling a toy car and a motor can be funny too!

Johnny was assembling a small motor to a toy car. This is how he did it.

LOL! He had installed it backwards!

Looking at the toy car and laughing, Voon Ho said :

"Aiyo Johnny, simple physics things also you don't know! How can you become a physician?"




To Voon Ho : A physician a doctor, the right one is physicist. =D

when Tanzy was small..........

remember this very clearly........(nostalgic)


when Tanzy was less than 6 y o

he studied in a kindergarten....

thr was a spoiled brat/teacher's pet/rich a**(fatty) that Tanzy wasn't fond of


one day, Tanzy playfully pat him on the back

the fatty had nvr experienced such humiliation b4 and got angry


Fatty: why did u beat me, im gonna tell teacher.

Tanzy: (childishly asked)when i beat u? what time, hour, minutes, seconds I beat u, which eye of urs saw me beating u?

Fatty:(got annoyed, asked teacher that was beside us all the time) Teacher, what time is it ?

Tanzy:(tought he was gonna die, stupid fatty is gonna tell teacher and his fat parents will sue my parents)





but roflmao-ly, the teacher replied:

"Do ur homework la stupid fatty, don't disturb me doing my own work la !!! "

the fatty was so shocked and scared at the same time, he just look down and started doing the homeworks

while Tanzy was laughing like a kid, at him
(you should have seen his fat face)

and then the fatty stared at Tanzy angrily,

which only makes him laughed even louder



ahahaha stupid fatty was so stupid and fat
Tanzy fells so proud and triumphant,

and still is..........

Baby Hiccup Baby Laugh

South Park : Internet Stars

Ahaha great job by der poster to add on the original videos of the internet stars.

Joy at the CC

These stuff happened during our Chinese Class.

A : [says a bad word]

Jasper : 老师, 他讲"臭话"!
Teacher, He said a bad word!

Jian Liang : 老师, 他讲"臭话"!
Teacher, He said "bad word"!


In another occasion,


Chuan Zheng : Teacher, i've chosen you to write my testimonial. I have always trusted you.

Teacher : It's my pleasure.

Chuan Zheng : [Smiles] :)

Teacher : [repeats herself] It's my pressure.



Later on, the teacher was talking to Chuan Zheng again.



Teacher :

庄正为什么你不要去?

Chuan Zheng, why you don't want do go (to that event)? There will be a lot of pretty girls you know?



Chuan Zheng :

老师, 不要骗人.

Teacher, don't lie to me.



Teacher :

"有美女, 但是你不够 standard."

"There will be pretty girls, but you're not up to it."



After seeing the look on Chuan Zheng's face, the teacher decided to apologise.


"对不起."

"Sorry."


The smile on his face returned. But not for long. The teacher haven't finished what she wanted to say yet.


"对不起, 我态坦白了"

"Sorry, I was being too frank/too honest."

If anyone is curious, here's his pic.

*Chuan Zheng, if you're reading this, i did not mean to insult you. I was just telling it as it is, exactly (according to what i remember) as what had happened.



After that, the teacher mentioned about "A Gua"s /Transexuals. When her son asked her what are "A Gua"s, she told us that she took him to some A Gua street to show him.

This is her way of edicating her son.



Then someone said (I think it's Chuan Zheng or Johnny Ho) :


"老师, 带我去看 A Gua"

"Teacher, take me to see the transeuxals."



Jian Liang


"你自己去照镜子啦."

"You go and look in the mirror lah."

The Magic Of Computer Games

This is a true story.

A bunch of Australians and my brother were playing World Of Warcraft together.

Australian A : Wow! It's already 2 o'clock! I'm gonna get myself some lunch, mate!

Australian B : Lunch? OH YA! LUNCH!

Ken Leeeeeeeeeeeeee , Sing !

From Bulgarian Idol , Enjoy , KEN LEE !

Manager :; Marriage

Why did the salesman who got promoted came to work with obviously a better outift but climbed up a tree and sat there ?





Because he got promoted to ' Branch Manager '












Lingam to Raguna : "I want to marry you"

Raguna : "But I am one year elder than you."

Lingam : "No Problem, then I will marry you next year."

Celeb's Interview part 2

Since Tanzy hasn't posted it , I guess I'll post it , yes , this is the same celebrity as the one before but no names will be mentioned again , just SITI

Here's part of her interview's extract

" So Siti , what's your favourite part of your body ? "





" My nipples "












PS : If you think she said it on purpose , she wasnt , she wanted to say dimple but her
pronounciation is rather.....

Music gadget banner found in Guitar Store

Music and MOEning ! Nicole Schwerzinger or whatever her name is should get this to improve her song " Breathe " if you know what i mean...

riddles that make you.... -_-"

What's the difference between a corpse and a music maker



One composes, the other decomposes.




A butcher is 7 feet tall, and wears size 11 shoes. What does he weigh?




He weighs meat.



what goes, black,white, black,white, black,white, black,white?


A penguin rolling down a hill.



There is a Chef, a butcher, a taxi driver, a bus attendant and a police man. who wears the biggest hat?


The one with the biggest Head.

Lee Meng : Back in Action

This was a part of my Msn personal message.

"derbookofjoy.blogspot.com Whatever has happened to the "bioknight"? ahahaa"

Lee Meng's previous email was bioknight91. He has just changed it to a more . . . reasonable one.



This is what he has to say.

Lee Meng :

"erm? i have eyes 2 see ur personal message."

"The bioknight....went for bio class."

Xian :

"lol u inform la monitor. "(He is the monitor for our class, 5K)

Lee Meng :

"You CPU.. .u need to take in my orders."

Xian :

"What CPU?"

Lee Meng :

"I monitor, u CPU!!!!"

The conversation ended there.

But I've just realised that it is the CPU that actually gives orders to the monitor.

Classroom humour

when our EST teacher (Mrs. T-Rex), went to 5A for her class,

she heard a student talking and laughing loudly

"I cant stand it! - it's tooooo SMELLY !!!!"

she got very upset and angry

she scolded

"I stand so far away, you can smell me ah ???!!!!"
>:( >:O }:(



the whole class laugh 99 after that


the student cant smell her indeed, because..........

he wasn't talking about her!! he was talking about other stuff

ahahah, imagine the amount of embarrassment she had


p/s: i call her Mrs. T-Rex because we aren't suppose to talk bad about our teacher and the school, cause our "tech-savvy" principal can track us down. She is also called Mrs. T-Rex for her distinctive style of walking.

Celeb's Interview

I don't know if anyone heard of this before or if its true but supposedly , a few years ago , a Malaysian celebrity was interviewed and the following lines were said during thw interview.

I'm not gonna mention his/her name , just the first name...

So here's SITI's interview extract

" So how can we address you "

















" Oh , my address is .... ( tells it out) "

Wei Han's ' good ' vocab Question on cowture

...Biology period


The teacher answers a student " It is their culture "

And Wei Han goes " Why got culture , no Goature ? "

E! News : Battle of the Hollywood Hotties

My first repost.

All all people, the E! News people has invited comedians to comment on the "Hollywood Hotties". Yes, all of them are comedians. The first one is 50 Cent vs Eminem vs Kanye West.



50 cent

"Fity . fitty. . fitty . . . or is it FiFty? So, he got shot 9 times huh? That's very encouraging to kids."

"Getting shot 9 times is not something you are proud of man, it just means you're easy to shoot."


Eminem

"Yes, Eminem, very smart, very smart, melts in your mouth, not your hands."

"Eminem . . . my favourite kind of candy."

(Lots of M&M candy floating around in the background)


Kanye West

They showed a clip of Kanye holding an award/trophy thingy, saying,

"Let myself introduce myself."

"I'm sure I'm gonna buy myself a new house to put all my prizes." (LANCI!!!!!)



Then they were talking about Demi Moore.

"People look better now, in this age, because of good nutrition and good food."

"But the most importantly, plastic surgery" (Ahaha so damn sarcastic)

Terrorists Bloopers

HALAL-ed :; un-HALAL-ed

TRUE PICS !






Just when I thought nothing else could possibly get HALAL-ed after seeing an ad on halal toothpaste.....





Anyone up for dim sum ? Halal style !




And then , when I thought nothing that we wear could get non-HALAL-ed....





Anyone for shoes made for everyone else except...?

Mrs Yap EST comments

Today in EST class... Our teacher was Mrs Yap...\

Mrs Yap was giving away our EST papers... ( The essay one) and as usual, made sarcastic remarks about our papers..

She said to me,

" aR YOU ar??? Your paper still got so much space!!! You write about the environment and you waste paper?????"

And this went on for a few students... Namely Eng Hoe...

Then it came to Chong ( Afiq for your info)

" Ar this one!!!! This one write the best one, mosquitoes got AIDS????"



And the laughs went booommm.....

MaTT's Jokes...

heyhey hey.... My first post... XD anyways... here goes a collection of jokes i heard from my friend in tuition...

What did the apple say to the orange?



Nothing, apples don't talk.

What's brown and sounds like a bell?


DUUUNGG!!!!


There were 3 couples sitting down for dinner. The first husband said,
"Would you pass me the sugar, Sugar?" His wife giggled and kissed him
and said, "Sure." The second husband thought he should do something
sweet too. He asked his wife, "Would you pass me the honey, Honey?" The
second husband's wife thought that was so sweet. She giggled, kissed
him and said, "Sure." The third husband's wife looked over at him with
a look that said, "You better think of something quick." So, he did.
The third husband looked at his wife and said, "Would you pass the tea,
Bag?"

You are welcome for 'filling' you up... XD I am filled up, aren't you?

A Menu from Restaurant Called "Stacey's"

Pancetta Wrapped Chicken

(You are what you eat, so if the rest of the menu frightens you, eat the chicken.)

Caesar Salad $8.95

(Named after the great romaine emperor, Julius Salad.)

Poke Tuna $13.95

(We only serve poke tuna because the fast ones get away.)

Imported Creamy Goat Cheese & Caramelized Pear Dip $11.95

(We know the goats are imported because they don’t speak English.)

Blackened Salmon Sandwich $14.95

(The salmon get this way from sun bathing.)

Portabella Mushroom Sandwich$13.95

(If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.*)

**Der menu is from here

The jokes in this menu was written by the author of a comic strip called Dilbert -- Scott Adams. He is really good!

Running In Record Time

This is a variation from Shaun in his primary school days. It sounds way funnier when he tells it in Chinese :D


你知道我怎么样用两秒跑两百米吗?



我从起跑线上的后面一点开始跑.



Translation :

You know how I can run 200 metres in 2 seconds?

I start from a few metres behind the starting line.

*Imagine a full 200 metre running track

Chei Thai

today we got most of our exam papers back and as usual, Chei Thai did well

inside the LRT, I met him and asked


me: 你有去补习吗 ?(do u go for tuitions?)

CT: 有，在家里补. (ya, tuition at home)

me: ?? private tutor ??



CT: (shake head) 姑姑教.

me: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! (the whole train like wtf)

CT: (at first confuse, and then give a -_- look)


ahahah wtf


if u do not understand this, it's probably a good thing.



and Chei Thai is a complete goody boy, he wasn't aware that wad he said would sound obscene, it was all me >.< and my *ish ish ish* mind

Jokes , JOKES , jokeS

A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, "You should've been here at 8:30!"

The guy replies, "Why? What happened at 8:30?"



A young man called directory assistance. "Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number for Mary Jones in Seremban .""There are multiple listings for Mary Jones in Seremban ," the operator replied. "Do you have a street name?"The young man hesitated, and then said, "Well, most people call me Ice Man."



Ahmad and Nathan are hunting when Nathan falls down from the top of a big rock. Frantic, Ahmad dials 911 on his cell phone and blurts, "My friend just dropped dead! What should I do?" A soothing voice at the other end says, "Don't worry, I can help. First, let's make sure he's really dead." After a brief silence, the operator hears a shot. Then Ahmad comes back to the phone. "Okay," he says nervously to the operator. "What do I do next?"



A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for the food."The panda yells back, "Hey, man, I'm a panda. Look it up!"The bartender opens his dictionary to panda: "A tree-climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."



How do you keep a jackass in suspense? I'll let you know tomorrow!



Ali couldn't believe it -- he'd made it to the last round of his favorite game show. "Congratulations, Ali," said the emcee. "Answer correctly and you go home with five million dollars! "This is a two-part question on Malaysian history," he continued. "The second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like first? Remember , you wont be able to turn back once you've chosen which part you want to answer first thinck carefully." Ali figured he'd play it safe. "I think I'll try the second part of the question first." The emcee nodded approvingly, while the audience was silent with anticipation. "Okay, Ali, here is your question: And in what year did it happen?"

OsamA NumA ! NumA NumA YeH NumA NumA YeH ! DancE to ThE BeaT !

Maleyahiiii Maleyahiii Maleyahiii Maleyah haha ! Maleyahiii...

Lester meets a Girl

Lester, like every guy in the world, gets attracted to Pretty girls

so, one day

we met at a mamak stall and he proudly announce that he just saw the most "Beautiful" girl on earth

Lester: just now i saw the most beautiful girl in Sunway pyramid

us: then ?

Lester: when our eyes meet, i was like Walao-eh. my heart skipped a beat.

Tun hong (who was with him): LOL, then he go crash into a board.

us: LOLOL, wtf ! wad happened ?

Lester: (trying to justify wad happened) she so d*mn pretty, i can't take my eyes off her when I was walking until i crashed into a signboard.

Tun Hong: LOL, the girl looking at him somemore. Then he look at us and scold us, as if we pushed him into the board like dat

us: LOLOLOL wtf lololol.

lester: she really d*mn nice la. -_-


although Lester swear she's the prettiest girl on earth, at least in Msia, experience taught us not to bliv him when it comes to girls.

An Important Terminology Explained

Ahahaha "BODs" - Board Of Directors, a term taken from the Interact Club which consists of people who direct.

We call ourselves the CEO of the BJ - BookofJoy.

Leo : Height

No, this isn't about his under par height.


We were walknig in Petaling Street and were looking at the high-rising shops in front of us. One of them was the Thomas and Guys' hair saloon.


Leo : Why must they build the buildings so high? They want people to 跳楼/jump/commit suicide is it?

Jie Xian : Ya ya. You go in Thomas and Guys', give them RM15 and say "Let me jump from your roof."

A Lame Joke I Thought Of

How can you travel from Malaysia to Thailand in just under 3 seconds?


Start at 5 cm from the Malaysia-Thailand border la! :D

...And The Book has Reborn

They may lock our Book, but they can never lock der great database in our cerebral cortex which gives joy and indirectly (Of course i meant directly but few will admit it in public), life to others!*

*Improved from a quote from Shaun :D



So The Book has returned / reborned / respawned / resurrected / reincarnated, but most of all, rejoiced in the form of Der* Book Of Joy.

*"der" is a "masculine the" (yes, there is a feminine one and other types too) in German according to an article I've read in The Star a few years ago. They have many types of the article "the" in German.

From Google Translate:

der Mann (the man), der Tabelle (the table)
die Frau (the woman), die Sonne (the sun)
das Baby (the baby), das Papier (the paper)

I've been searching for other similar cases and there's someone whose blog has been unlocked after 1 month.

http://bonanzaworld.blogspot.com/2008/06/im-back.html

So my hopes are still high as we await the unlocking of The Book Of Joy when the Google staff gets to work.


So this is only temporary, like a substitute to The Book Of Joy, as we will move back as soon as The Book is unlocked.


Excuse me while i do some chanting. **aww may thaw fatt, seen Joy seen Joy.**


"May everyone be well and happy."

"May The Book Of Joy be unlocked to make everyone well and happy, especially us !" :D

WE ARE BACK BAYBEH ! BRINGING MORE JOY !

Yes Baybeh's , we are back man , thebookofjoy has been brought down to give rise to a new power ... DERBOOKOFJOY ! :D

So yes , with a newer and better title comes some consequences , and that is , for our loyal readers before , there will be many posts posted that you have already read before on the not so ALMIGHTY version of our blog before.. But fred not , it comes with tonnes more of new ones so just keep reading !

Now , I have to do this , like Gerard Butles in 300a.d.


TONIGHT ! WE DINE ! WITH JOY !....THIS IS B-J(BOOK OF JOY) !




so heres a WELCOME VIDEO ! :D

PUBLIC AFFAIR by TWO CHINESE BOY's